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Road to the Apocalypse 5/5

Bonus Feature: How a Crosby/Hope Classic Translated into a Supernatural Fic, as told by an Archangel.

 "Is this it? Is this where you want me to be? Alright geesh, quit your shoving, I'll do your dirty work you lazy good for nothing...

 "Okay, so I know this is the part where most authors stick their notes and all that, but yours is a little lazy, so she bribed me to come out here and explain it to all you muttonheads. You should probably recognize me because I've been keeping you entertained for however long it takes you to read one of these things. But in case you're one of the freaks like the author here who skips to the end to read everything, I'm known around the galaxy as Gabriel, archangel, Messenger of God, in some parts known as Loki, the Trickster god when I was in my own witness protection program, also just all around handsome dude known the world over for his brilliance and sense of humor and of course sometimes to the Winchesters I'm just a general pain-in-the-a...ow...alright, alright, I will get on with it. Geesh, considering the fact that I'm only working for peanuts here, you think she would be nicer to me. No, it's not really peanuts, it's peanut M & M's....

"Anywho...on to the notes. So it says here that M & M’s Plain Chocolate candies were introduced in 1941 as a means to spur flagging chocolate sales, and they really were first introduced to the US military, but that whole Skip Muck thing, geesh you people, talk about an overused plot device…hey, okay, I‘ll get on it with it. There also really is a Japanese ghoul in folk lore known as the O-dokuro. Yeah, I should know. I went up against one of those things back in '64. 1564 that is. And that yes all that tragedy happened in Independence...ya'know, it would be a lot easier if you just said all that stuff in the prologue was well researched instead of making me read this...OW...are you going to poke me every time I get out of line?

"Fine, fine...so onto what truly inspired this story...so that is what they are calling it these days when you are too lazy or too stupid to come up with an original idea of your own, huh? Inspiration. I will have to remember that one. Like those section titles that were inspired by animated shorts from Bugs Bunny and Wallace and Gromit. OW...geesh, I'm also going to have to remember to move every time I insult you, too.

"So, this story was ‘inspired by' the Bob Hope and Bing Crosby classic Road to movie series, which include such films as Road to Morocco, Road to Utopia and the Road to Zanzibar. Those guys were comic geniuses…geniuses, really? I mean, hey they would have been nothing with out me. I inspired them, okay lady…I gave them some pretty good material, too. There were some pretty good running gags that all of those films had like breaking the fourth wall. The story you just read didn’t really have that, but I guess you could say we are doing that little shtick now.

“And of course, in all of the films, those mooks were con-artists trying to make money, in ways that never quite worked out, because they weren't as smart as me. So anyway, Bing was the brains of the operation, coming up with the ideas and Bob had to do all the dirty work. So, obviously I was Bing, the handsome dude in this story, and Sammy was that other guy. Speaking of being handsome, Sammy made me swear off women because that was one of those stupid things those muttonheads did in their films, too. They would usually promise to not allow women to interfere with their plans, and both would immediately see a woman and forget that promise. Bing’s character, aka the handsome dude, aka moi, would usually get the girl in the end but your author is too much of a slacker to throw in a little romance because she thinks it would detract from the rest of the story…what-ever…so you only got a cameo from Dorothy Lamour, who was such a hottie by the way, as the waitress at the diner. Dorothy was the romantic interest in all of the Road to films.

“Then we get to the "patty cake" routine before throwing punches, you caught that, right? Bing and Bob overused that if you asked me, but it was kind of funny to see two grown men play patty cake before punching out some loser who didn’t see it coming. And I had no choice here because Sammy didn’t want anybody to see me use my powers and get the mistaken idea that I am actually a god…geesh he can be such a stick in the mud at times.

“Now that I have wasted your time and mine pointing out the general themes that are consistent in those flicks, I think I have to point out some things that the author just flat out lifted from specific films…you know to point out the fact that she lacks creativity of her own….OW….okay, okay…was using to ‘paying tribute’ to those films. In Road to Morocco Bing and Bob played two schmucks by the names of Jeff Peters and Orville ‘Turkey’ Jackson. I’m sure you remember seeing the name Orville popping up. Anyway, Jeff sold Orville off into slavery to a princess and she mentioned that in the story briefly. She also made me sing a few lines from the song “Road to Morocco”, though I got to change a line here and there, because I am my own man…put that away...I’ll tell the truth…she changed the line, alright, that good enough for you?

"Then there's the Road to Utopia, where the mooks played Duke Johnson and Chester Hooton and if any of you were paying attention when I was spinning the yarn about the two of them that was basically the plot about that movie. Well, except the part about me trying to prank them.

“The film she, uh-hem, stole the most from was Road to Zanzibar. Like in all the other films, Crosby and Hope played a couple of shysters except here they have a carnival act where Hope gets shot out of a cannon and through a ring of fire. Of course, it’s all a scam. Not a bad trick if I do say so myself. The problem is, they start a fire and get run out of town. They aren’t the brightest bulbs in the bunch. Crosby’s always trying to come up with the next scam and he suggests Hope wrestle with an octopus, which Hope refused to do. That is where your author here came up with the idea of a carnival and Sammy wrestling an octopus and since I am, shall we say, a little more persuasive where the kid is concerned, he did actually end up wrestling an octopus, of sorts. I got a kick out of that. Then there was the whole scene with the tribe. In the movie, that happened in Africa, but the writer here moved it to an island and proceeded to borrow quite a few lines straight from the movie because she thought they sounded better come from a, hey wait a minute…I think that is an insult…what do you mean if the shoe fits?

"Geesh...so, near the end when…oh yeah, you caught that did you? I was wondering if anyone noticed how I slipped that that song on to the radio. Dean can really be an 'Auntie Grizelda' type sometimes if you think about. No, I am not going to elaborate on that. But these people are welcome to spend time Googling the Monkees if they want to. That's what YouTube is for after all; they might even learn a thing or two about the Mozzarella Brothers while they are at it. Now, apparently what your author got out of these films was the buddy aspect of these two scamps on the road and she took it and ran with it. So that is why you got such a lousy ending, or should I say, no ending at all. I mean, who leaves their readers with that? Do you even know if we get the other rings or not? Come on lady...hmm, what's that you say? You might write a sequel...how do you know I am even willing to show up and participate in a sequel...I am not going to work for peanut M & M's forever...what?...pie...well, now then, that might be a possibility.

“Okay, it’s about time to wrap it all up here and she says I have to read this word for word or she won’t ever let me come out again….ever. Really? You call that a threat lady…and who do you think you are, threatening an angel of the Lord, do you even believe in my Dad? …what do you mean I am not really the archangel Gabriel?….just a fictional representation of him from the mind of Eric Kripke...what you do mean my Dad is much more awesome and impressive than a bearded, pajama wearing drunk who writes bad fiction?….you’re really pushing it, do you know that?....fine, okay, I’ll read it….and I quote ‘If anyone thinks it is easy to try and wrangle plots bunnies that involve certain ‘fictional’ archangels, then I would try and caution them about trying to share mind space with said archangels who have questionable mental health stability’...hey what do you mean 'questionable mental health stability’...there are no questions...all of  them have been answered…I was tested!...that’s it, lady, you can finish this on your own...I am out of here!"

A/N 2: So, since my accomplice has made a hasty retreat, I will take this opportunity to step forward and acknowledge a few other people. First of all, a shout out to unstoppablei who in one of her fics, had Dean refer to her fabulous OC as “Armageddon Barbie.” This not only gave me the idea for Dean to use the term “Survivor Barbie”, but also triggered my memory that there have been contestants on that show referred to as such. Then there is ramblin_rosie, who on more than one occasion has had Gabriel interfere with the radio to play a song that a character needs to hear and she was gracious enough to allow me to use that idea here. In fact, all of these ladies were kind enough to let me use ideas that I first saw in their stories. All three of them have wonderful fics so if you are looking for something to read, I suggest you go check out their work. And that brings me finally to tari_roo, who first used the concept of trying to explain the idea of a tramp stamp to a bemused outsider, though in her case it was Ronon of SG-A.

Thank you so much for reading!


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 28th, 2011 02:54 am (UTC)
*Kermit flail* YAAAAAAY!

Actually, after that "Grey Poupon" bit in 7.01, I think either Jared and Jensen or Jared and Richard could do a brilliant job remaking the Road To movies. Jared's even got the nose for it. :D
Sep. 28th, 2011 03:05 am (UTC)
*blushes* Thank you!

The Grey Poupon bit was one of the few highlights of 7.01. And I agree, I think they all have the comedic chops to do any classic remakes like the Road to movies, and as an added bonus, they all seem have such a good working relationship with great on screen chemistry (and a built-in fan base to boot)
Sep. 28th, 2011 04:18 am (UTC)
Agreed. In fact, En and I were speculating about how it would work to have the Js, Richard, and Misha do the Marx Brothers... I mean, I'm against remakes in principle, but those four (and Jim, honestly) really could do classic comedy remakes. Of course, that leaves open the question of which of the SPN ladies should play Dorothy Lamour/Margaret Dumont/etc. ...

Oh, dear. Jensen vs. Misha in The Great Race.
Sep. 28th, 2011 12:48 pm (UTC)
Oh my now my brain is filled with the idea of The Great Race</>.And if nothing else, it would also make a great AU fic.

I am not usually big on remakes either. They almost never do the originals justice. But something similar done in the spirit of the original could be interesting as well. And yes, which SPN ladies to fill those roles is a challenge as well.
Sep. 28th, 2011 12:50 pm (UTC)
Look at that. That is what I get when I type before my morning caffeine kicks in.
Sep. 29th, 2011 06:29 am (UTC)
True. If you don't want that bunny for the next round of spn_cinema, I might just take it, even though I never write RPF...

"Now, wait a minute, Matt," said Sheriff Morgan slowly. "This is a friendly celebration."
"Fiddle-dee-dee!" Texas Matt shot back. "I don't much like the way you're celebratin'. So you just step back, Sheriff, 'less you wanna
fall back."
Sep. 29th, 2011 03:25 pm (UTC)
Strike that--even if you DO want the bunny for spn_cinema (and you can still have it for that), I'm 11 pages into mine. XD
Sep. 29th, 2011 05:11 pm (UTC)
Wow! 11 pages! Even though I have ideas, I have had to much going on this week to get anywhere near that!

I don't write RPF either. What I was thinking was more along the lines of an all human AU Supernatural Version. I mean, I can see Dean racing his Impala. I have mixed feelings/two ideas about how to 'cast' "Professor Fate" though...
Sep. 28th, 2011 07:34 pm (UTC)
I think this is the craziest, funniest stories I've read in a while. I didn't get any of the references because my pop culture knowledge is pitiable, but I loved the story anyway :D
Sep. 29th, 2011 12:03 am (UTC)
*giggles* Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed, even without getting the references (and some of them were from older TV shows and movies). I was going for crazy-funny so I am happy to have achieved that! :D
Sep. 29th, 2011 12:07 am (UTC)
This was so much fun! All very in character. I wish Gabe had been around more to go on fun jaunts with the characters. Supernatural could do with a more slapstick :-D

And thanks for the shout out! That was very sweet.
Sep. 29th, 2011 12:17 am (UTC)
*curtsies* Thank you so much! I had a blast writing it! I think Supernatural could really pull off more slapstick, too! :D

And you deserve the shout out as more people should be reading your work!
Sep. 29th, 2011 12:19 am (UTC)
Aw, thanks! I feel like I should post it to lj comms but I'm not sure what to post it to. Most are gen or slash comms, and lj is rather harsh on OCs, so I'm a little intimidated, lol. :-)

And Changing Channels proved how well SPN can do slapstick. Gabe really needs to come back.
Sep. 29th, 2011 12:26 am (UTC)
Yes, Changing Channels did show that, and Gabe does need to come back.He could kick some Leviathan but from the outside while Cas did it from the inside-just saying.

And I understand about lj being hard on OCs and your difficulty in choosing a community.
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 1st, 2011 05:59 pm (UTC)
There is always season 7 *sighs hopefully* And there might be precedence for that,too.
Sep. 29th, 2011 02:44 pm (UTC)
Omc this fic! Reality tv land, GABRIEL FOLLOWING CROWLEY ON TWITTER, the whole thing was just hilarious, witty and perfect! Awesome job and fantastic Fic! <3
Sep. 29th, 2011 04:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Thank you so much! I am glad you liked it! :D
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 1st, 2011 05:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Thank you! And no,if the gorilla made you laugh, then more power to you:D
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )


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